An American Twist
by Travis E. Stallings
Summary: A new year, a new teacher! i am inputting a new teacher for DADA in Harry's fifth year, Bypassing all that Ministry-made unpleasantness.


An American Twist

"dialoge"

'thoughts/sounds'

*actions*

Disclamer: the right to ownership of any content other than the plotline and any original characters belong to the creators and distributors of any official works. (i don't own harry potter people, so no complaining)

WARNING: my version of the story will not follow the canon plot line, though partially based on it, certain aspects will be tweaked in order to make the story flow better.

"Harry? Harry! Wake up, we're almost to hogwarts!" Hermione proceeded to grasp Harry's shoulder and vigorously shake him from his slumber.

"Wha? Ah, hey! hey! I'm up, I'm up!" Smacking away Hermione's hand, Harry sat up in his seat inside the Hogwarts Express, pulling his still-waking body away from the window of their cabin with what felt like herculean effort. Yawning, he stretched, attempting to ease the minor ache that came with lying still for too long. His bones creaked, joints popping in a satisfying manor.

"Come on you lout! The train is almost to the station!" Hermione's voice carried exasperation and a touch of fondness.

"Aw, leave him be 'Mione. He only just woke up!" Ron spoke up, playfully chastising the girl.

"You're one to talk Ron! i had to wake your lazy arse just five minutes ago!" Hermione replied testily.

"Both of you, just calm down! 'Mione, i'm up. Ron, stop annoying her." Harry interjected, attempting to settle any nerves before a full-blown shouting match could commence. Sighing, Harry stood, reaching into his trunk to pull out his school robes. once release from the large, heavy steamer trunk, harry turned and cast a small haze spell around himself so that he could slip into his robes without compromising his modesty.

While Harry was changing, he listened to Hermione and Ron continue to bicker. Hermione's voice growing steadily more agitated, while Ron's was growing more amused by the second as he listened to Hermione's tirade against him.

"'Mione, you know he's just trying to get a rise out of you right?" called Harry as he dispelled the haze around himself, being fully dressed once more. Hermione hesitated, her face gradually turning pink from her blush, her expression showing mortification. Ron could no longer contain his mirth, a small chuckle quickly growing into a full-blown guffaugh at Hermione's expense. Rounding on Ron with all the righteous indignation a woman could possess, she proceeded to slap Ron's shoulder, drawing an audible 'snap' as her hand made contact with his arm.

yelping slightly, Ron turned on her, agitation showing clearly on his face as blood rushed up to his head, staining his face slightly red, along with his ears. "What was that for?!" He snapped, brows drawn together as he leaned foward, placing his face inches from Hermione's.

"For being a Twit!" Hermione answered, her voice rising in pitch and volume as her temper clashed with Ron's.

Harry looked at his two friends, feeling amused by their small spat, before a devious idea occurred to him. Walking closer to his two friends, he quickly grasped the back of their heads before forcing his hands together, causing Hermione's and Ron's lips to meet in a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss.

Pulling away quickly, he expected to have them both round on him, but instead, it seemed his actions, and their sub-sequent situation had stunned both Ron and Hermione into complete stillness, their lips still pressed haphazardly against eachother. Rousing from his daize, Ron pulled away from Hermione's lips, not speaking a word. Merely looking upon her with widened, almost fearful eyes.

As Ron pulled away from her, Hermione seemed to slowly become aware of what just happened, her eyes losing their momentary glazed look to focus on Ron's face. The two simply stared at eachother for a few moments, fearful how the other would would react. A small sound slowly caught their attention, looking to their side, they saw Harry, his hands pressed against his mouth, attempting to smother his laughter, but utterly failing.

Both rounded on Harry, an emberrased blush turning their faces a flaming red as they proceeded to yell at Harry, strangely in synch. "What was that! You know i don't like Him/Her!" they barked, pointing at eachother.

Still laughing, Harry replied "Well, if you two are going to argue like a married couple. You might as well act like one!"

"Ugh!""Gah" they both voiced their frustration with him. As they prepared to lay into him, the train began to slow as it rounded the bend and a small platform came into view.

"Whatever, we'll finish this later! Come on Ron, we have to go make sure everyone gets off fine." With that, Hermione turned, pulling open the door to their compartment before striding out into the passage way of their car. Grunting, Ron followed, seemingly forgetting about the earlier debacle with his Gryffindor-Prefect counterpart.

'When will they get that they like eachother?' Harry thought to himself, shaking his head in an exasperated manor. Shrugging, he moved up to the door of the compartment, holding onto the handle as we waited for the train to arrive at the squeal of the brakes seemed to draw other students like him to the doors of their compartments, waiting for the train to slow to a halt.

The sound of indistinct voices raised as other students began speaking to eachother up and down the corridor of the train shifted slightly from side to side as it continued to slow. Finally, the Express came to a halt, perfectly placed so that each exit from a cart was half a foot from the edge of the stone platform that made up the station.

Stepping from his compartment, Harry picked up the sound of Draco Malfoy's high, nasal voice moving toward him. Rather than deal with his annoying yearly tirade, Harry quickly made his way to an exit and left the train. Stepping onto the chilly, windswept platform, harry pulled his cloak tigher arounnd him before moving to the line of carriages along the right side of the platform.

Stepping up onto the small set of stairs leading into a carriage near the front of the line, Harry bent slightly to move through the door and into the cabin of the carriage. Just as he turned to sit, he heard a distinctly femanine voice call his name.

"Harry! There you are, would you mind helping me in?" Turning, Harry saw Ginny, Ron's younger sister walking quickly to his carriage, pulling a slightly smaller girl behind her.

Shrugging, Harry turned and held out his hand from inside the cabin, Ginny grasped his hand, using it to pull herself up into the carriage. Releasing her hand, Harry turned to the girl Ginny had dragged along with her.

She was a slight girl, having a waif-like figure, and smooth alabaster skin that only served to highlight just how pale her platinum blonde hair was. Her large, light blue eyes seemed unfocussed, as though her attention were elsewhere. A necklace, made of what looked to be the corkes from a number of Butterbeer bottles lay around her neck, her wand was placed behind her right ear pulling her hair away from her ear, showing the small radishes she had seemed to fashion earrings out of.

As Harry held out his hand to her, her gazed turned to him, still seeming slightly unfocussed. "Oh, thank you Harry. I'm glad to see you again." The girl said, her voice light and smooth. "I'm Luna, by the way, Luna Lovegood."

"Nice to meet you Luna. Would you like help up?" Harry asked, offering his hand to her once more.

"Oh, yes, I will." Luna grasped his hand before rocking back slightly. Suddenly she exploded into action, launching herself bodily into the carriage, nearly pulling Harry out of it at the same time. As the carriage rocked with the sudden shift in it's balance, Harry quickly pulled himself into the carriage so that he wouldn't emberace himself by falling out.

As Harry made to sit down, he found that Luna still held his hand in a firm grip, keeping him stuck in the middle of the carriage until she let go. Unfortunately for Harry, it seemed this wouldn't be happening soon. A noise from outside the carriage drew the groups attention (all except Luna's, who had seemed to have fallen back into a trance-like state) to Neville as he moved to enter the carriage.

Finally releasing Harry's hand, Luna sat back in her seat, allowing Harry to do the same as Neville moved to sit down beside him. "Hey Harry, Ginny, Luna" greeted Neville, recieving a nod from Harry, a small wave from Ginny, and a small smile from Luna. Reaching over, Neville pulled the door to their carriage shut, causing the carriage to begin moving up towards Hogwarts after a moment.

It was a very quiet ride up to the castle, small pleasentries being exchanged before silence once again infused the cabin. After about 5 minutes, the cabin lurched to a stop infront of the castle's entrance. Opening the door, Neville stepped out before moving to the side and helping Luna and Ginny down from the carriage, Harry following after. After Neville shut the door to the carriage, the horse-like creatures began to pull it down the path once again to pick up a new batch of students.

Harry watched it leave, Watching curiously as the horses seemed to fade in and out of view as he would focus on them before training his eyes on the carriage alone. "Thestrals, Harry. Quite pretty creatures, don't you think?" Startled, Harry turned to see Luna once again staring at him with her unfocussed gaze.

"What?" he asked

"The creatures pulling the carts, silly. They're Thestrals." Luna replied.

"Uh, okay then." Said Harry, bemused, before choosing to simply accept her comment and move on. "So, shall we?" He asked the others, geturing towards the main entrance before beginning to walk towards the open doors. Neville followed Harry in, slightly to the rear and left of Harry, the girls walking shoulder to shoulder on his right.

As they stepped through the entrance, they felt the cool air of the outside give way to the warmth that seemed to suffuse the castle. Continuing on, they walked up a small flight of stairs before turning right and making their way into the Great Hall. There Luna moved off to the left, going to sit at the Ravenclaw table, while Harry, Ginny, and Neville sat at the Gryffindor table on the right.

Students continued to trickle into the hall in small groups, occasionaly splitting up to move to different tables, but usually staying all together as the moved to one specific house table. Once all students had been seated, the doors to the Great Hall closed once more, chatter from the different tables faded away as the shuffling of many feet was hear just beyond the doors.

Minerva McGonacle opened one of the doors slightly, slipping into the great hall before walking to the small rise in front of the Staff Table and summoning a small stool and an old, mangy hat that she later placed upon said stool. Turning, she waved her want back at the doors, causing them to slowly swing open, silently, thanks to the house elves who maintained the castle.

Just beyond the doors was a somewhat haphazard line of about thirty-five to forty small children, all age eleven, who stared out into the hall in trepidation. Beconing the children foward, Proffesor McGonacle took out a small scroll from inside the sleave of her dark, emerald green robes. Clearing her throat slightly, she spoke clearly out across the hall, bringing everyone's attention to her person. "The Sorting Ceremony shall now take place. Will each new student step forward when called and place the hat upon their head? Thank you, now Justin Memmers!"( Idon't personally like the yearly song from the hat, so in my story it doesn't exist. Don't like it? Tough.)

A small boy with light, sandy blonde hair stepped out of the line to walk slowly up to the stool, nervousness and a small hint of fear evident in his posture. upon reaching the stool, he grapsed the brim of the old hat before sitting on the stool and placing the hat on his head, it's large size causing it to fall over his face, concealing his face from the chin up.

The old hat twitched, moving slightly before shooting up straight, small mumbles reached the ears of the students. After a few moments it seemed to nod to itself before calling out "Ravenclaw!" Said table erupted in applause as the young boy pulled the hat from his head and placed it back on the seat. Justin then hurried over to the table he had been sorted to before sitting down in an empty area near the front of the table, being greeted by the prefects sitting at the head of the table, as did all house prefects, as well as the head boy and girl of the school, whichever house they were in.

On this went, each child moving to the stool to be sorted to their houses, Slytherin recieving 12 new students, Ravenclaw 6, Hufflepuff 8, and Gryffindor 11. After the chatter from each new student being greeted died down, Proffesor McGonacle took the hat and stool and moves them to the side of the rise before moving to her seat at the Staff Table, where, unsurprisingly the seat for the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was once again empty.

Standing Headmaster Dumbledore moved to the stand just in fron of the staff table in order to give his yearly openning speach.

"Greetings students new and old to another fine year of education here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We hope this year will help each mind placed in our care will flourish and grow under the instruction of our proffesors. Unfortunately, your new Defense teacher is regrettably late at the moment. But, in other news, the Rules of last year are still in place, the Forbidden Forest is off-limits to any and all students unless accompanied by a teacher. Curfew is 8 p.m. on weekdays, 10 p.m. on the weekends. Any spell-casting in the halways is prohibited, and fighting will not be tolerated. Now, for a few closing words, Jerk, Samsonite, Gel, Drooble! Thank you, and now-"

The doors to the Great Hall slammed open, snapping everyone's attention to the two figures standing in the threshold. A deep voice, carrying a strong American Southern accent rolled through the Hall like angry thunder. "Sorry I'm Late"

Reviews would be appreciated, this story will not be updated on any kind of schedule, so please do not demand for the next one. Oh, and all Flames/Hate will be collected and placed into another 'story' where i will mock you for your irrational hatred of my writing style, story ideas, work ehtic, etc. etc.

Now that that's over with, Bye Bye!


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